Celerium Destroys Siri – iPhones and Apple Products Start Exploding


As many Apple products are currently being blown up it has let the nation to wonder whether Celerium was on a brutal warpath with its victim being Siri and the whole Apple company. So is Oracle and their new highly developed artificial intelligence virtual assistant, ‘Celerium’ behind the chaos Apple is facing? To get to the bottom of this artificial intelligence battle between the two companies it is essential to look at their history and competition. We can trace the rivalry back to 2010, when Apple acquired Siri, which was originally just on the standalone app by Siri Inc. Apple started to integrate Siri into other Apple products and soon enough the whole world was saying ‘Hey Siri’. At this time Oracle was a new and ambitious company that had just missed out of this genius idea and they seemingly crawled back into their cave for the next 10 years. 

In early 2020, after scheming, creating and keeping a watchful eye on the outside world and the ever developing technology, Oracle was said to be ‘playing God’. When the marketing campaign for ‘Celerium’ by Oracle was launched, people were immediately intrigued at this new product. Promising the most efficient and helpful assistant, Oracle hit the marketing spot on as it targeted anyone who owned a smart device. It seems crucial to point out that in this marketing campaign, Oracle said that Celerium would be a ‘needed shield’ and was promised to ‘protect and guard users in the years to come’. This caused some people to speculate at why humans would need protection, did Oracle know something the rest of the world didn’t? This worry caused conspiracists to look into Oracle as a company and their new highly advanced A.I product. One man even dived into the meaning behind the company’s name. He says in his conspiracy video,’Oracle means an agency or person that provided prosthetic predictions of the future as it is inspired by the Gods. Doesn’t that sound deeply suspicious to you?’ The video became very popular but recently got taken down by Oracle and no one has heard from the man who created the video on any social media platforms since. 

After one week of Celerium being released, 79% of the world had the new virtual assistant and by week 2 every single person with a smart device was told to install Celerium as it was the only ‘trustworthy’ assistant and this statement issued by Oracle caused a big stir in the world of technology as Siri was disgraced. In the third week of the release, the night before Apple are due to give a world wide live speech, Apple products were spontaneously combusting. Which brings us back to today and leaves us all asking the question, are Oracle responsible for the disaster undergoing the Apple products? In an online survey 89% of smart device users agreed that Celerium were responsible and the evidence is mounting up to prove it.  Several Apple product users have said they saw ‘HTML’ looking blue text appear over their screens with the word ‘Celerium’ appearing several times before the products starting rapidly heating up and then shutting down and blowing up. 

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